Every Father Counts

There is nothing like giving birth or co-parenting to make you realize the value in a good partner. I lost my father years before meeting my husband but somehow watching the way he loves our children makes me feel his fatherly love vicariously. What I love most about having a life partner is getting to share the love, joy and frustrations of being a parent. When we were to become parents, I caught the first glimpse of the kind of father my husband would be. I was lucky to have his support throughout the pregnancy and after the delivery when suddenly a complication arose and our elation at the surprise of meeting our baby girl faded into a different kind of unexpected emotion, fear about what was going to happen to me. I remember looking across the room at him as he held our daughter and the team of nurses, doula, midwife and OB worked on me. I wanted so much to be there with them. That image was not complete without all of us.

Not long after we became parents I would celebrate my first Mother’s Day. I can still vividly recall the right of passage that that day is for many women. When I shared this with my husband he told me, "That is the difference between men and women" because he didn’t think of his role in the same way. For him, it was a given that he'd be a great dad. He has one too.

Since losing my dad 15 years ago, Father’s Day is always bitter sweet because he isn't here to see how much I still value him and it makes me sad that my children will never know him. So I try to keep his memory alive for them and take it upon myself to document their love for their father as often as I can. I am grateful that they have such an amazing dad and so proud that he is also my partner because I can't imagine this journey without him.