Summer of Sisterhood: A Sister Lost

We met Lauren and Nancy, her mom, when we were researching cases of maternal mortality in the U.S. for 'No Woman, No Cry'. We interviewed them together about Pam's life and premature death after she delivered her son five years ago. Each day in the United States two women die from pregnancy or childbirth-related complications. Experts estimate that 50-70% of these deaths could be prevented. According to Amnesty International, the U.S. is ranked 50th in the world in maternal health. While Lauren amd Nancy's interviews are not in the film we have remained in close contact throughout the completion of NWNC and launch of Every Mother Counts. Last year Lauren joined Team EMC for the NYC marathon in honor of her sister, Pam. She will be running with us again this year too.

Today marks the 5th anniversary of Pam’s passing. Below is an entry from Lauren about her sister Pam, in which she writes about why running has helped keep her memory alive. 

Lauren's sister, Pam

Every holiday, every birthday is forever changed because my sister is no longer here with us.  Five years ago today, my sister Pam died after delivering her first child.  This event took place in the United States. The pain in my heart is just as painful now as it was then when I think about how we lost her. Pam was a healthy 26 year old who was so looking forward to being a mom. Instead, her life was tragically cut short after a long labor and the questionable care she received when she needed it most. I believe her death could have been avoided, as most maternal deaths are. Pam was post date and it was strongly suggested she be induced. She was induced multiple times with a drug that is commonly used, yet not FDA approved for use in labor. This drug has major risks and side effects for pregnant women and had my sister been aware of all the risks she may have opted for a different approach.  Pam had an extremely difficult labor.   Through it all however, Pam refused pain medication, she wanted the best for her child.  My life, and everyone else who knew and loved Pam, is forever changed because this cheaper, unregulated drug was administered carelessly.

Pam and Lauren

These past 5 years have certainly not been easy. I have learned a lot, including how to honor her life.  I have learned that for me the best way to grieve is to stay connected to her every day.  I am dedicated to spreading awareness about what happened to Pam so that others don’t die needlessly when bringing life into the world. I truly believe that this is what I am here on this earth to do.  I feel honored to share my sister’s story and hope that in doing so I can do my part to help prevent maternal deaths.

When Pam was still with us, she would always come home from wherever she was at Christmas time to see family and friends. Her own birthday follows closely on December 30th. I can remember waiting by the front window to watch her pull up the driveway the last time she came home for the holidays six years ago. I was 22 at the time. That year, Pam and her husband, brought me to Sports Authority to buy me new running shoes for Christmas. I never thought that those shoes would be the last gift I’d ever receive from her.

When Pam and I were young, I was the lazy one in the family. We’d go on family vacations and Pam and my brother would be out on the beach early to go for a run, as I was making sure my beach chair was in the perfect spot to catch the sun.  I remember one time Pam said, “Come on, run with me just one morning.”  I finally agreed. Then, about 5 minutes into the run I said, “I think I’ll walk now.” She just laughed and ran ahead.  It’s ironic how tragedies in life can change who we are so drastically.

While I still enjoy relaxing in the sun I now also enjoy running.  I run to honor my sister and our ‘sisters’ around the world.  I made a promise to myself after Pam died that I would never stop trying to raise awareness about maternal mortality.  I miss my sister every minute of every day but I will not sit around and let this continue to happen in this day and age.

I feel privileged to be on Team EMC for the second year for the NYC ING Marathon because I feel closest to my sister when I run.  Before Pam became pregnant she had been training for a marathon. I feel like I am now running these marathons because she no longer can. I complete the races that she wanted to complete. When I am tired or feel weak while training or racing I think of all the women in the world that feel this during pregnancy and labor and I know that every step I take and mile I run I am helping to ensure that another woman’s childbirth experience with be a better, safer experience.

 A few days ago I received an email from a friend of Pam’s.  It read as follows  

In remembrance of her cheerful attitude and warm smile, I would like to invite you to join me in buying some daisies (Pam's favorite flower) on July 18^th and sharing them with somebody.  It can be somebody you know or a stranger; just give them to someone who you think would enjoy receiving them. 

I know for me I will be sharing daisies on the Internet as well.  Today I will change my facebook picture to daisies in remembrance of a beautiful and simple woman, my sister.  I invite you to do the same. 

Lauren in her Team EMC shirt

For further reading on inductions and drug use in labor and delivery:

Childbirth Connection: Induction of Labor

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists: ACOG Issues Revision of Labor Induction Guidelines

The American College of Nurse-Midwives' Position Statement: Induction of Labor