Rosa Parks’ Marriage

Here we are, the day after Valentine’s Day, celebrating African American History month and pondering the marriage of Ray and Rosa Parks.  Everyone’s familiar with Rosa, the woman credited for her huge role in desegregating the South, but we don’t hear much about her husband, Raymond nor about their life together before and after she sat down on that bus.  That has us wondering how a marriage so fraught with stress and trouble managed to hang in there for almost 45 years. 

Raymond Parks was older than Rosa by a good nine years. Rosa told the story that she didn’t like “Parks” (as he was called) much at first when a friend introduced them, but gradually they developed a friendship. Ray was an activist and a barber and apparently also a fashionable and fastidious dresser.  He wasn’t an educated man, but he was well read and taught himself everything he could about domestic affairs and current events.  He was particularly interested in any issue related to the betterment of life for black Americans.   Eventually Ray and Rosa started dating and the two were married when she was 19 and he was 29. 

Rosa didn’t graduate from high school on track with the rest of her class and in fact, only returned to school for her diploma on Raymond’s strong recommendation.  Once she had that in hand, Ray supported her to continue her education and she attended the Industrial School for Girls and the Alabama State Teachers College for Negroes.  She worked an assortment of jobs including as a seamstress and a secretary for the NAACP, where both she and Ray were active members. 

Looking at their relationship so far, Ray and Rosa had a couple things working against them.  They weren’t particularly well off. Rosa was a lot younger than Ray and much better educated. In modern-day society, those factors might count as strikes against a long and healthy marriage.  In those days, a man supporting his wife’s education was unusual.  We’re giving Raymond major points for encouraging his wife to advance her education. 

A lot of people think of Rosa as a tiny woman who’s interest in civil rights was sparked right there on that bus, but the truth is, she was a powerhouse for the cause long before that day and her husband fully supported her activism.  She was a fan of Malcolm X and Martin Luther King.  She was well informed about the consequences her bus-sitting actions might have.  She was tired, yes, but as she later explained, she was mostly tired of being pushed around. 

After her arrest on the bus, it was Raymond and her mother who convinced her to take her case to court.  It was Raymond who supported her through her trial and Raymond who shared the fallout despite her acquittal. Both she and Raymond lost their jobs as a result of her arrest and the bus boycott and they never regained economic security until they finally left Alabama.  The stress on Raymond was apparently so intense he had what was referred to as a nervous breakdown.   We think it’s remarkable he had the strength of character to encourage his wife to stand up against seemingly insurmountable odds to defend herself, her rights and the rights of all African Americans.  We give Rosa credit for being brave enough to go through it.

Raymond and Rosa never had children and they spent the rest of their lives together in respective careers and deeply involved in civil rights activities. During many of those years, she worked in the office of Congressman John Conyers Jr., while Ray continued barbering.  Ray died of cancer in 1977 and Rosa survived to 2005.

How is it they stayed together through thick and thin, despite financial and legal trouble, despite having no children to raise together and despite the differences in their age, education and careers?  Maybe it was pure dedication to each other and a common cause. Maybe their marriage was glued by loyalty and companionship.  Probably it was all that plus the one thing that holds most long marriages together – plain old-fashioned love.  We like to think of it like this:  Behind every great woman, there’s a great man.